Singing the Blues

Boy, am I tired today. I've had a long, hard week. Mom had her first chemotherapy treatment last Monday and I've had a long hard week since. The only good thing that has come of it, is the bouncing up and down all the steps a hundred times a day has helped me lose four pounds this week! My poor mom has been so sick from the chemo, she hasn't hardly been able to raise her head off a pillow. She's had no appetite, and no energy. I drew her a funny cartoon of greenish cancer cells running for the hills, yelling to each other that they were given their marching orders, and that they had to find another body to inhabit, one less stubborn! I labeled it Cancer Cells On the Run! I hope she understands that the way she is feeling is all for the good...that even though she is feeling poorly, it is going to get better and to look on the bright side, if she's feeling poorly, so are the cancer cells! That is the moral of the story!!!!

All I can do is pray and hope for the best. I have faith that it will all work out. This is only the first week. She will go through 3 weeks on, 1 week off, then 3 weeks on, 1 week off. Then her doctor will take a cat scan to see if there is any change. Please pray for the best!!!!!!

Meanwhile I am exhausted. I'm pushing liquids. She isn't eating, and I'm pushing ensure and milkshakes made of ensure. She glares at me when I push these things but it is for her own good. She won't eat regular food, says she isn't hungry. She said the doctor said she didn't have to eat...NOT! She has to eat to keep up her strength!!!! I'm going to help her get through this. I think we're all put on this earth for a reason. I'll help her in every way possible and go to the ends of the earth to make her comfortable and to help her. She's my mom. She gave me life.

Never Dull Moment In the Life Of A Mom!

Well, I guess Moms wear many hats. Sigh. I got that job I went for, which was a good thing, I am waiting to find out which case I am on now, so will have to wait to get a paycheck. That will hurt me. Obviously I won't be able to give you facts about cases as that is a no-no. I will say I think I lost one case because the son of the one lady is a cop for one paricular county and I unfortunately mentioned that my brother was a cop for a particular city and I think that lost the case for me. LOL I wish I had kept my mouth shut! LOL I guess live and learn. SIGH! Anyway, there is another case and it looks like more hours, close to full time so I guess everything happens for a reason.

My mom had the lung biopsy last monday and when she did, the corner of her lung collapsed. Air got into it. I sat up all night Monday and Tuesday holding her head up because she was too darned stubburn to go into the ER and couldn't breathe laying down. When it got to the point that her lips were turning blue and she was gasping for air I said enough was enough. I called an ambulance. It is coming back up on it's own without a tube, so she may come home Sunday. I'm a wreck though. My nerves are really getting to me. Worrying about the cancer, the job, money, my grandmother, caring for everyone, my neck is bothering me more than I let on (I have a disc in my neck I'm supposed to go for therapy on but I haven't got the time to go) and my arm went numb yesterday when I was continually turning my head while driving. It freaked me out. It's the first time that has happened. I guess it's time to go back to the neurologist and get those therapy appts started monday whether I have time or not. I need to MAKE time for me. I take care of everyone else but me. That is the problem. I take care of everyone. I'm superwoman I guess. Or I think I am. It's starting to tell on my nerves too. Well, I'm going to run along and see if I get everyone up and rousted. I need my grandmother at her beauticians in an hour.

hello fellow bloggers!

Well, I'm in a good mood today! I lost almost two pounds today! I guess not "today" haha. It doesn't just fall off overnight! I went exercising this morning at the Y. I went on the bike for 30 minutes on level 6. Its a pretty good level, the higher the number the harder it is the pedal. I think it goes to 10? I sometimes go an hour, but I also used the treadmill today so only went a half hour. I want to concentrate on the treadmill because I'm using the treadmill to do the hills. I am raising it on an incline to burn fat. I have it on a 3.0 incline. It makes my heart rate increase which helps me lower my cholesterol I hope! I am trying so hard to avoid taking cholesterol meds. I went in ready to fight yesterday to my drs. Surprised when she agreed with me, she didn't want to put me on cholesterol drugs. I am losing weight and doing well. Unfortunately, my cholesterol is going up while my weight is going down! So, I've got plant sterols and I'm taking them every day. She is going to take the blood again in 3 months. I'm exercising my butt off, literally! LOL

I'm glad I'm finally losing weight again after being stuck in a rut for a few months of not losing hardly any! Maybe now the pounds will start coming off again!

Walk in the Nature Center

Thought I'd share these pictures with you!
Take a seat!


My (animal) friends and I went to the Nature Center for a nice long walk this afternoon, and I thought we'd share some of the photo's with you! We hope you will enjoy the slideshow, and we hope you will learn something from them! Feel free to share them with your homeschoolers!

So, How old do you think this tree is? Can you tell by the rings in the circles???




Do you know what a Vernal Pond is? Read the sign below and find out! If you can't read the small print, I guess you'll just have to do some research online to find out! Ok, I'll tell! It's a pond made by the boy scouts! It's filled with snow in the winter, and then melts in the spring to make a pond for the wildlife! Interesting, huh?

Do you know what poison ivy looks like? Check it out!

Does this look like the foot of a tree, or the toes of a foot? LOL

Hello World!

Hello World! I'm down this afternoon! I went for my interview today, and didn't find out a darned thing. I guess I should give it time. They have to check my references and do a security check and all that, I suppose. I will most likely get a call from them in a few days time. She said, at the end they didn't have any cases available but they should get some soon. That is so frustrating. After all that! It's so depressing. I need work so badly. Well, a friend of mine has a daughter graduating this weekend so I at least have a party to look forward to. I don't even feel like going to it, but I guess I have to go. It will be nice to get out. I guess I'm just depressed from everything going on. The cancer returning (my mom) and the lack of success finding a job so far, etc. I'll keep looking though, I don't give up this easily!

I am going to get my little butt outside for a bit. I suppose maybe I may take myself down to the nature center for a walk. They are open till 8 pm tonight. It is a nice place for exercise, and also photography. I'll add my photo's on this site for everyone to enjoy.

So stay tuned to the further adventures of the weight loss woes of li'l ole moi!

Goodnight to my fellow bloggers!

A final goodnight to my fellow bloggers.....and a few pictures to ring in a new summery day....

Goodnight and till tomorrow....warm wishes to you all!

7 pound weight loss? Yeah, right!

Ok, I went to the doctor today, and she told me I have lost 7 pounds since May when I was in the doctors last. I don't think so!!! What planet is she on, I think? I don't think I've lost more than 7 ounces! I have had such a hard time losing the last month or so! I have been under so much stress! With my moms cancer being back, and trying to get a job and not having much luck, and the car giving me problems, and dieing on and off, and my having so many health problems to boot....well, life just hasn't been a picnic!

I have lost a lot of weight since January. Let's see, since December, I've had meningitis (I spent New Years in the hospital) and I have lost about 35 pounds since then. My car needs either a new head gasket or valve seals, struts and springs, and possibly a new radiator to boot. I essentially need a new car. LOL That's ok, a friend of mine has a 89 Chrysler Cordoba he's willing to give me for a hundred bucks because his grown son is too embarrassed to be seen driving it. LOL It's also a gas guzzler. I am just happy to find a car that will get me from point A to point B without either blowing up or overheating. So what if it costs $60 in gas?

I have an interview tomorrow morning for a job. It is with a home health care agency. I am saying a huge prayer of thanks that they called me for the interview and then saying a prayer that I get the job! I need the job very badly. Not only to fix the car I have but to put gas in the guzzler I'm getting. I told my mom I'd keep the old car for her to drive around town. If she and my daughter want to go to the park, they'd have a car then. I will have it paid off in a few months (oh glory be! It is taking me forever to finish paying the finance charges on that lemon!) Then maybe I can concentrate on getting new struts and a new radiator for it.

I'm thinking of going back to college for nursing. Problem is the chemistry and physics. I am so scared. I'll be 48 years old in July. I'm also afraid of being the only old lady in a sea of youngsters! I really enjoy the health care field though, and I've worked in the field since I was 21 years old. The chemistry, math and physics has always put me off, however!

Ok, I'm off here to go check on mom. She's getting a biopsy done on Monday and is very anxious and nervous. Have a great day, my fellow readers!

boy am I peeved!

I'm s little perturbed today!!!!! That is sure a little bit of an understatement!!!! If I'm using a lot of asterisks, it's because I'm madder than a wet hen! I got taken to the bank this week, quite literally by a company that in my eyes, and quite legally by their terms and conditions not only BROKE their contract, but also committed fraud. I am going to fight it all the way to the bank. These babies don't know who they are fighting with. haha I have been across town with my grandmother for five days, she had a cardiac catherization, they went through the groin and opened up the artery in her leg. It went GREAT, but sometimes I feel like cloning myself! LOL I am under SO much stress, trying to lose weight, (doing ok but I'm having problems, I'm at a point where I'm not losing for some reason!) My mom just found out she's got two tumors in her lung again after 5 years cancer free (the good news is the reports look good that they can cure her however and we have high hopes for her!) I'm just a worrier, I guess. Trying to get my car to keep running (a lemon), make the payments on that lemon while continually paying someone to fix it, and work too. I work in home health care, so jobs have been scarce. Just heard from a company and have an appointment for a job interview on Wednesday morning, so keep your fingers crossed! Ok, I'm getting off the subject now...let's get back to the raunchy company woes!

Ok, so I found this site...I get alot of paid to read emails. Yes, they do pay off. I just got a $37 check the other day so they do sometimes pay out. However, this particular email I read and clicked on I decided I liked the sounds of. I was down and out about my lack of weight loss. I'm stalled out and mad about not losing any weight. So they promised this "green tea" would help me to lose weight and it was a "free" trial and all I had to pay was for shipping and handling. WELL....I have since learned that nothing in life is free! I ordered it about 10 days ago. About a week ago, they charged me 4.99 for shipping and handling and last Tuesday I received the item. I was on my way to my grandmothers, so I took the product with me. I used it for the 5 days I was at my grandmothers. You add it to your water and I must say the product tastes AWFUL! It is the worst tasting stuff I have ever tasting! Not only that, but I had to water it down in order to not choke to death on the stuff! I never saw that it was helping with apetite control or any other control. The terms and conditions (which I never read incidentally, maybe I should have! LOL) says they were to charge my credit card 69.87 on the 16th day after ordering. They charged me on the 8th day after ordering. When I called the customer service was extremely rude, and they said, "well, so what you had plenty of time to try it and see if you liked it or not!" Now, in 3 days after I received the product, how could I tell if I liked the product or not? And if I didn't like the product, I certianly did NOT have enough time to wrap the product up and send it back! I did NOT know I had to send it back or be charged so much for it or I'd have never bought it to begin with. It says in big letters the product is FREE to try and you don't have to try it unless you like it and then the next shipment is charged to you. It also insinuates as much in the terms. The terms are very greasy and hard to understand. If I'd have had the forethought to look up the company and google them before hand there is a ton of stuff on the company.

If you are interested, or NOT LOL....the garbage is called ultra lean green tea. If you want to beware, stay away from the product. I'm fighting the company and I'm contacting the better business bureau about the company. Don't do business with them. They are scammers. There is a ton of stuff about them. This is not the only stuff they are scamming people with. Credit cards and all kinds of garbage! The company is called dri reg net. Don't do business with this company! They are scam artists!!!!

Homeschooling and weighin-UGH

UGH weigh in days are so nasty! I hate that dreaded word. Its like a 4 letter word, even though it has 5 letters! LOL I have SUCH a hard time losing a pound or two. It's a shame that some people have trouble GAINING weight and I have a hard time losing it. I just LOOK at food and I gain it! I'm serious! I can exercise on a stationary bike for two hours a day and still stay the same weight. I have lost inches, and gained muscle, which is cool! I have seen a big difference in my clothing sizes, of course, and people have really said how much I've lost. I've lost about 40 pounds, which isn't a lot of weight in my opinion. I want to lose a lot more. I get so frustrated! I am in one of those moods, that I want to quit. I guess I really need the meeting badly tonight. I should go for that reason...I feel like quitting out of frustration. I can't quit, this is my goal, to get healthy, to change my life around. I need this, for my health, for my sanity, for my daughter. I'm doing it because I love my daughter and if I don't lose the weight I won't be around to see her grow up. My stay in the hospital over New Years scared the heck out of me. I guess you can tell that, huh? I am determined now to lose the weight, to get my life pulled back together and do something with myself.

You see, a few years ago, I got out of an abusive relationship. My ex wasn't physically abusive as much as he was mentally abusive toward me and I think that was worse. It creates scars deeper than the skin. You can't see them. They last a lot longer. The self esteem is hard to repair when it's been wounded. I won't go into detail about all that but I'm recovering even yet. I am doing GREAT. It's been six years since the divorce, and my daughter is doing great also. I have a good relationship now with him, thanks to my mom helping to run interference. I think he also knows that it is in the best interest of our daughter to keep the peace. I've gotten stronger since I have "recovered" I guess you should say. I won't take his abuse. I know the look on his face and the tone of his voice. I have heard it a few times in past and just firmly said "hold it right there. We're no longer married. I don't have to hear it anymore. I don't have to deal with it." I walk away from him now. I refuse to be treated with disrespect. If he wants to talk to me he talks to me with respect or he doesn't talk to me at all. Alas, it works! :)

So, I have gone a long way in six years. I consider myself a "work in progress"... I have a long way to go. I think that is what life is all about. I think we are all meant to learn about life and grow as we age. Each of us have our own beliefs and whether you believe in God or a "higher power" or whatever, I think God is there for us and wants us to grow and learn as we live our lives on a day to day basis. I've had problems with my health, with depression (because of my ex husband and money/finances) and can't find a good job. All that will come together and work out eventually. I have faith!

My Weight Loss Woes!

Hi There! First off, I will start my blog on the first day of my "new" life. That was New Years Eve, 2007. I still don't know for sure, but they think I may have had spinal meningitis. I had a very severe case of bronchial pneumonia over christmas and I suffer from bad migraines. Every time I coughed it hurt my head so badly and I was in so much pain I just cried. So....I had a terrible holiday. Then it escalated and I ended up in the emergency room right after christmas. I was in the hospital a week. My white blood cell count was elevated and they found white blood cells in my spinal tap, so they suspect I had spinal meningitis, the non life threatening kind. It was still serious, but not as severe as it could have been. I was released a few days after New Years and I made myself a promise I was going to change my life around. It's one New Years Resolution I have kept. I joined TOPS. TOPS stands for Take Off Pounds Sensibly. I've lost about 35 or 40 pounds by my calculations but my doctor says I've lost more. I like her calculations better! At any rate, I've went down about 4 pants sizes, and I feel a whole lot healthier. It's been a constant battle to lose the pounds. I've been exercising a lot. I've joined the YMCA and I walk a lot also. I have found out I like to swim (although not a strong swimmer, I wear a floatation belt which makes me feel more secure). I love it when people who haven't seen me in months look at me in surprise and tell me how much weight I've lost. It makes me feel good! I still plan to lose another 50 or so pounds, so I'm not done, not in the least bit!

I'm on a journey of self discovery, a journey to better myself. I'm still trying to find another job, preferably a midnight position. Tim Hortons is supposed to call me soon as there is an opening. I consider myself a work in progress...everything I do is to better myself in every way!

I also homeschool my daughter. I am looking into curriculums for next year. I did the "eclectic" thing this past year. Just worked out of books, and printouts. We had a pretty casual schedule. She's enjoyed this year but now that she's getting into higher grades I feel it's much more important for her to get into the habit of having a regular schedule and not sleeping half the day away! I liked Jubilee Academy the best...they offer a good sturdy foundation of learning!

Well, guess this is enough blogging for tonight! Goodnight, ya'll!